Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Best Hair of the 80's Hair Metal Bands

Wildside - Such smooth, soft, ladylike hair. I especially love the girl perm and cowboy hat on the far right.


Winger - From all the money they spent on hair products, the band only broke even financially.


TUFF - Nothing says tough like sweeping bangs, and the haircut of a 40 year old cosmetologist from Texas.


Tiger Tailz - Adding the 'z' on tails makes the name really tough, just like their hair.


Pretty Boy Floyd - Pretty indeed, pretty indeed.


BulletBoys (?) - Some truly gorgeous rocker hair.


Shotgun Messiah - I love the two Dianna Ross haircuts going on there. And are those dreads? I think so.


Ratt - It's a shame none of them had rat tails to go with their rockin' dues.


Queensryche - So many beautiful perms. Also, what's goin' on with the dude in the center? Seriously.


Poison - Nobody could work a can of aquanet, a blow dryer, and a pick, quite like Poison.


Poison - More gorgeous, fluffy Poison hair.


Nitro - When you can no longer see your eyes, you know you have some awesome hair. I have an overwhelming urge to pet them, and feed them a milkbone.


Motley Crue - Yeah, that's right, they rock.


Skid Row - Smooth, silky, well groomed. In a word, classy.


Britny Fox - Ahh, classic.


Hanoi Rocks - The blond has a Boy George thing going on there.


Enuff Z Nuff - Oh no, it's never enough when it comes to awesome rocker hair.


Cinderella - You are ready for the ball, sirs. Especially you, in the Tarzan leotard. You will be the prettiest one at the ball.


Cinderella - There hair isn't quite as magnificent here, but still quite stunning.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

you forgot about pantera! they also started as a hair metal band:
http://www.anus.com/etc/dimebag/pantera2.jpg
Till

Anonymous said...

It is actually Skid Row in the picture labeled L.A. Guns. The one labeled Skid Row might be BulletBoys.

Anonymous said...

It's spelled Queensryche. One word. Get it right. Fuck...

Inspector13 said...

enuff z nuff, what in the world is going on there? count the legs, there are only 7. is this the first heavy metal hair band siamese twins? are they the inspiration for that brit flick?

Nick said...

haha, that's true, I hadn't noticed.

viniciusvicius said...

meu deus, ainda bem que a moda muda! :D

benj said...

What? No Trixter??

Macgiver said...

Faltou Europe!!!!

anhymal said...

madeixas tão bem cuidadas que heavy metal nenhum precisa....a essa altura do campeonato esses metálicos cosméticos todo já devem estar carecas.
Long live rock and roll

Anonymous said...

Where is Twisted Sister?

Anonymous said...

Maybe you missed them because they are Canadian, but what about Platinum Blonde? Their name even indicates the importance of their hair.

Anonymous said...

out of all these bands motley crue is truely the best, they took hair metal to the next level, and i think everyone would agree with me on that.

skidrow said...

skid row is the best!! sebastian has the most beautiful hair ever! :)

Buddy Love Bomb said...

Who wrote this list? Could you find any more crappy LA bands?

Christ

what cheese

Pigeonwing said...

Queensryche - Hair metal?!
I am personally offended.
But yes, Geoff's hair was pretty darn terrible.

I'd love to see current band shots put up next to these. Sebastian Bach is probably the only one with any hair...*ahem*-real hair-left.

iWantToKeepAnon said...

Enuff Z Nuff - who's the bugeyed guy on the right. I'm not sure that left eye isn't about to popout!

Anonymous said...

When I started reading this I said to myself if Hanoi Rocks is in that list I'm gonna take a shotgun and kill the next person I see. Not really ofc.

But please take Hanoi Rocks out of there. They where never and are never gonna be a hair metal band, have you even listened to their music? Not anything like it. This is what happens when a horrible scene (ok Mötley Crüe and Skid Row are cool) takes their looks from a band that doesn't belong to that scene, the band is falseley labeled hair metal. "Everyone thinks they're hair metal but that's the biggest misconception of them"

And Queensrÿche isn't hair metal either. Or I'm not completlely sure about that (don't really listen to them) but people get your facts right before releasing stuff you (apparantly) don't know much about.

Ps. That hair metal is a horrible scene is my opinion don't be offended or anything.

Anonymous said...

Hair metal freakin rocks. Anyone who thinks otherwise just thinks they're are too cool to admit to it. Freakin losers. Although a lot of the above bands did suck a bit but still better than most of the awful crap rock music coming out today. At least the knew how to entertain and gove some enjoyment to people instead of all the angry and/or depressing crap we get today.

Anonymous said...

Hair metal is the greatest time throughout our history. Motley Crue is completley amazing!!! Skid Row and Poison are totally awesome to. Queensryche isn't hair metal at all though. Unlike the other bands who are true hair metal

80s Metal Music said...

www.80smetalmusic.com
More than two decades later, 80's METAL is still alive!

Anonymous said...

Remember those mall music video studios in the 80's to early 90's where you pay fifty buck and they shoot u against a blue screen to your favorite tunes. Well I found this 80's band that did that it totally 80's but the song is good check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw6sPSl4ZQY

Anonymous said...

Lovin' all those HOT!!! Ladies
Ohh Yearhh
Oops where's that tissue........

Anonymous said...

All these bands suck. Listen to real metal music, the metal music that is out today.

Anonymous said...

metal music out today sucks sh*t these guys all roaring and ,jees, learn to play your instruments i.e slipknot, manson jees c'mon. The one real band from the modern metal scene are steel panther and a lot of the best new stuff coming out is from scandanavia like grand design, reckless love etc. Listen hair metal is alive and well. hair/glam/sleeze all fall under one genre proper good time rock 'n' f'n roll

Mr. J. Tempest

Anonymous said...

for comment above is that joey tempest from europe???

Hair Band Rocker said...

To get the full spectrum of 80's rock, check out www.hairbandrock.com!

Dennery said...

Too Funny! Thanks so much for your witty commentary! Your quips had me laughing aloud! "oh no, it's never enough when it comes to awesome rocker hair." LOL!
Some of you up in arms regarding possible mislabeling, misspellings, if a band is 'hair medal' worthy, etc.
PLEASE CHILL THE HELL OUT! The piece is clearly a compilation intended to poke fun at the ridiculous hairstyles at the time - for entertainment value only! (And succeed they did! Hysterical!) Clearly, this is not intended for use as a legit resource for band names, classification, etc. Come on, just relax and have a good laugh!

Design That Rocks said...

This post ROCKS! Plain and simple. \m/

Anonymous said...

motley crue rocks, and it's probably the best band on here! and i agree with the person who said twisted sister should be on here too! They are the best Canadian band like ever!!!

Anonymous said...

crue have balls, poison deserve to be here, you guys are way too serious about all that hair metl label shit, the idea of hair metal was to wear make-up and get fucked up constantley with johnny thunders style hair, it was an awesome period until bon jovi turned up and fucked it with the rest of the tag-alongs but WASP, Crue, Gunners, all good, almost saved us

Anonymous said...

Don't talk about Geoff Tate from Queensryche, now! (Remember, the "Guy in the center")? He's got some vocal chords on him - in fact, Queensryche is in a totally different league than these bands. The only ones that come close are Skid Row and Motley Crue. Even mentioning Enuff Znuff in the same breath is a joke! :o)

mark said...

hi

Anonymous said...

Freaking fags!!!!

Anonymous said...

there's a 'hair metal' debate going on here... actually there is no music as 'hair metal', and no one in the 80s were using that term. actually that 'hair metal' term was created by mtv to discredit 80s and 70s rock bands as a way of saying 'they dont have anything but their big hair'.(remember that mtv in the 90s was force-fedding people with grunge and rap crap and was saying metal is dead etc.) returnin to the hair subject, most of the musicians in the 80s from thrash bands(destruction, overkill) to pop stars (tina turner) had big hair in the 80s which was pretty normal at that time. If we look at the photos there, we can see bands with very different musical styles, from 70s glam/punk bands to 80s power metal bands to melodic hard rock bands... only thing they have in commonis some time in the 80s they had big hair...

anyway i just wanted to show how stupid that hair metal term is...

Anonymous said...

What about George Lynch's doo?

Magoo Thunderbollocks said...

I have no hair - that's how fucking awesome I am. Why is there no Hairless Metal Scene - I would truely rock the shit outta that!
Can we get a "trout pout" hair metal blog? Surely Poison would win that, wouldn't they?

Anonymous said...

Dokken's "Under Lock And Key" album cover should DEFINITELY have been included here. LOL

Anonymous said...

Guns n' Roses sucks. HAIL WHITESNAKE AND SCORPIONS

Anonymous said...

Damn good list but where's AC/DC???

Kev said...

suck good hair going on here!

Anonymous said...

Only bald headed assholes are making fun of 'em. Cause they don't have any hair to grow...
And Guns n Roses sucks? you motherfucker make just single track like 'em then tell.

Anonymous said...

Ratt had utterly fabulous hair. (They're my favorite band)
This made my day c:
Thanks for this!

wctube said...

suck good hair going on here!

Anonymous said...

Tigertailz! It isn't a party without them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fiJUlXeWPY&list=PL27C1A8DE2D3A1E42&feature=plpp_play_all

Anonymous said...

"you will be the prettiest one at the ball..." LOL!!!!

Anonymous said...

AAHH The decade of decadence ! The best times of my youth ! Fast cars, even Faster women ,and loud music God i miss those times !!

Anonymous said...

ac/dc isn't a hair metal band retard.

Ricardo said...

Jesus, Mary, Joseph! I wasn't there that time, you don't have how to prove it. I did not see this shame.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THIS TIME!!!!!i wasn't around (born in 2000) but its still AWESOME!!!i wish everyone from today was half as good as most of them. Bon Jovi is considered hair metal but he is POP.same with Europe.the difference is hair metal doesn't use synthesizers ALL THE TIME. skid row and queensryche really aren't what most people would associate with hair bands and now motley crue isn't really like that.you missed silent rage,def leppard,twisted sister, WASP, whitesnake,and house of lords.if your basing this off of how the hair is,not the height,i think Phil something i can't spell/say from pantera,metallica (before they cut their hair),and Dave Mustaine from megadeth had nice hair.just sayin.

Anonymous said...

Um, this list is missing the best hair band of ALL TIME - BON JOVI!

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