Wives, Cry To Get What You Want

Oh right, like anyone didn't know this already. Captain obvious, Dormeyer.

26 Cool Fire Hydrants

A fire hydrant is an active fire protection measure and a source of water provided in most urban, suburban and rural areas with municipal water service to enable firefighters to tap into the municipal water supply to assist in extinguishing a fire. Though if you don't know what a fire hydrant is, you probably wear a crash helmet, live in your parent's basement, and can't read this blog to begin with. Here are 26 cool fire hydrants:

Dalmation

A fire hydrant on fire? Now that's just silly.

Sylvester the cat looking dressed like business man or a contract killer in "Pulp Fiction."

That's a sleeping cat on his lap, grandpa didn't mess himself.

I dunno what it is, but it looks cool.

This water fountain has great water pressure, though you do run the risk of tearing your lips off and shattering your teeth.

I don't know that this classifies as cool/

That poor amputee.

Get it? Cause dalmations are associated with fire fighters...

Hey, it's me, Mario!

A lonely hermit living in a garbage can. Depressing.

Why does he have a wagon wheel on his chest?

My, what big shoulders you have.

Does he have a mouth full of fish?

I played my drum for him, pa rum pum pum pum

Uncle Sam Pig says I want you for U.S. Army

Konnichiwa

Hippies

This one is pretty cool.

Doesn't really look like snoopy.

There is pooh on that hydrant.

I found Waldo.

Awesome.

Sweet.

A firecracker.

Insert "Redcoats are coming!" joke here.

Photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Becoming the Fattest Woman in History

Susanne Eman of Casa Grande, Arizona—currently weighing in at 720 pounds—hopes to become the fattest woman of all time and surpass the standing record of 1,600 pounds. Here is what she eats EVERY DAY to try and shatter that record. It's a 21,962 calorie menu of sadness.

Breakfast:

6 Scrambled Eggs Cooked In Butter = 468 cal.

Half Pound Of Bacon = 1,168 cal.

4 Hash Browned Potatoes = 672 cals.

6 Pieces Of Buttered Toast = 600 cals.

Ice Cream Shake = 1,160 cals.

Bag Of Animal Crackers = 1,950 cals.

2-Liter Of Soda = 800 cals.

Bag Of Barbeque Chips = 1,650 cals.

3 Ham And Cheese Sandwiches = 1,576 cals.

Lunch:

3 Beef, Bean And Green Chili Burritos With Sour Cream = 1,453 cals.

Salad With Bacon, Cheese And Chicken = 1,479 cals.

Dinner:

12 Tacos = 4,906 cals.

2-Liter Of Soda = 800 cals.

8 Scoops Of Ice Cream = 2,080 cals.
Pan Of Brownies = 1,200 cals.

Total: 21,962 Calories

Via
Photo

TV is Good for Kids

I knew it! I am a good parent!

An Awkward Moment

Wait until you see it...

Yep, it's that awkward moment when your friends fat arm makes you look naked in a picture. Been there!

Thanks Riley!

Poor Advice, Total

Not advice any man should give to any woman he wishes to continue seeing.

Blow Smoke in Her Face

I find this not to be the case. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

Dinosaurs Shooting Lasers - Freaking Awesome

Why are dinosaurs shooting lasers? I don't know why. But doesn't it really matter? No, this is still the coolest thing I have ever seen, and I've see a lot.

Ovaltine

Oh no, I've been drinking Ovaltine for years!!! Sorry wife, I had no idea.